Recently on LinkedIn I discovered a lovely post from Marjan O,
It reads, “Sometimes we just need someone to help us untangle our thoughts and to help challenge our thinking, so that we can discover new perspectives, solutions and/or insights that may have been hidden from us..”
I think this is worth reading again and again.
There are so many wonderful gems in this one quote.
Firstly, I love this expression, “untangle our thoughts”.
The very thought of them being tangled up in the first place is a wonderful way to describe what can happen when we have simply too many thoughts about too many different things, running through our active minds all at the same time.
Picture our thoughts as different wires all jumbled together in a box.
It’s now easy to see them all tangled up!
Now, picture what it’s like trying to untangle wires that have become all mixed up, and the patience required to slowly but carefully unravel them. And with that, the wonder at how those wires ever got so tangled in the first place…without being noticed!
I love the expression, “challenge our thinking”, as this prevents us from aimlessly wandering down the same thought paths, and always coming up with the same ideas and opinions. Challenging our thinking is absolutely paramount for our mental development, as it is the catalyst for us discovering new ideas, and new perspectives that we were perhaps not open to before.
On my website, I ran a series of weekly quotes and reflections, which I call my QR OF THE WEEK.
For the end of 2023, I chose this quote from Adam Grant as a message for 2024.
It reads, “A key to lifelong learning is to see everyone you meet as a potential teacher.”
New perspectives. New ideas. Out with the old, in with the new.
And how do we discover these new ideas and opinions, solutions and insights?
Simply through listening, really listening to what other people have to say.
Allowing ourselves to be open to something different.
Allowing different opinions from the ones we already have.
Allowing different viewpoints from the ones we already have.
Allowing different ideas to the ones we already have.
Allowing our thinking ego to just come down a notch or two.
Allowing ourselves to admit from new perspectives that we were, now and then, kind of ‘wrong’, or, rather, not always right!
Let’s go back to the first quote.
Let’s read it again.
It reads, “Sometimes we just need someone to help us untangle our thoughts and to help challenge our thinking, so that we can discover new perspectives, solutions and/or insights that may have been hidden from us..”
Sometimes….yes, not all the time, but sometimes. There will be some times when we do get tangled up in our thinking. And when this happens, it often leads us to becoming more stressed about a situation, or more anxious more worried, and less able to ‘think straight’.
Just sometimes.
And it’s at these times that we need someone to help us.
That’s all we need. Help. Just at that moment. And we just need someone. That could be a partner, a mum, a dad, a brother, a sister, an uncle, an aunt, a grandma, a grandad, a son, or a daughter. Or it could be someone who specializes in professional help. This could be a life coach, a counsellor, a mentor, or a therapist. At the end of the day, they all give the same thing. Help. Just when you need it. Sometimes…not all the time.
Now, the thought of a mind coach or mentor is really quite normal to many professional sports personalities.
In fact, in the world of sport you find absolute geniuses who have a multitude of coaches for different parts of their game.
Great tennis players who win at Wimbledon have a ‘team’ behind them. The winners always thank their team. Coaching and mentoring to them is fundamental to their success.
What are these coaches there for? They’re there to help. Simple as that.
All of the world’s best golfers have coaches for different parts of their game. Even the likes of Tiger Woods or Rory McIlroy.
And they all have mental coaches. They need to ‘keep their heads’ under the pressures of regular, top-level performances.
Bob Rotella is one of the most famous golf “gurus”, and has a wonderful book called, “Mind over Golf”.
So, the sports men and women, at the very peak of their game, the world’s best, all need a coach or two.
So, why is there still a kind of stigma attached to us mere mortals having life coaches or mentors, or of us having mindset coaches and mentors?
If it’s good enough for the sports professionals, then surely it’s good enough for the likes of you and me.
Ok, for some of the wealthier, having your own therapist is a kind of ‘cool’ and fashionable thing to have.
But, to many, the thought of needing some ‘therapy’ comes with a sense us being ill in some way. The sports people aren’t ill. They just need help or guidance, or direction, or reassurance.
And that’s all we need.
And when we need it, it’s usually when our thoughts have been all tangled up.
Yet, many of us treat therapy or counselling as a kind of cure for a disease.
But it’s only help.
And there’s nothing wrong with needing help….sometimes, not all the time. Just when we need it.
After all, the game of life throws challenges at us daily, and sometimes those challenges can feel overpowering and overwhelming.
The answers seem to be hidden from us.
That’s when we need the coaching.
The someone who can see how to untangle those wires easily and effectively.
Life coaching or mentoring should be considered an absolute essential for all of us.
To simply untangle that which has unwittingly become tangled.
I have been running a series of fortnightly Zoom chats with a small group, and we have been discussing lots of subjects (which I will be covering in my Amazing Mindset Podcast Series, starting on July 1st)
Just chatting openly among this small group, and allowing each opinion to be listened to, really listened to, has been of great benefit to all the group, and I include myself.
It has allowed our old thoughts and opinions to be challenged, and new perspectives to be discovered.
You can find details of these chats on my website. There will be more to come, and you may wish to join.
In the meantime, keep challenging your thoughts, and keep your amazing minds open to new ideas, new opinions, new perspectives, and new insights.
Don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it.
We all need it…sometimes.
Not all the time.
But just when we need it.
Sometimes we just need someone to help us untangle our thoughts and to help challenge our thinking, so that we can discover new perspectives, solutions and/or insights that may have been hidden from us.
Ged Roberts
Author and Mindset Mentor